Sunday, March 6, 2011

A confusing time

I feel great sadness and with that sadness, comes great guilt.  I moved to New Zealand feeling nervous about finding a new home that I would love as much as the one I left, I was nervous about meeting new friends and finding a place for my family.  I had found that in Sumner.  Great town, welcoming people and a wonderful environment for my family.  And then Tuesday 22nd February happened and all that changed.  We now don't feel safe in our lovely town and beautiful home, our friends have left and the area is deserted.  However, we are the lucky ones.  We did not lose someone close to us, we still have a home (even though it has more air conditioning) and Richard still has a job.  We are lucky and the guilt that accompanies that luck is extraordinary.  I feel spoilt that I still have a home and family when others don't. Yet I am still sad that we are leaving this stunning place where we felt so welcome and at home. 

I am sure that we will find new friends and fit into new communities and in time all will be well.  For now I am just sad when I look out of our window onto the beautiful view of what might have been.  The people of Christchurch have this same fate, of starting again from scratch.  It is a long road but one that must be travelled by everyone.  No one is untouched by this catastrophe.  But my mantra has become,  we are lucky,  I keep telling myself that every day.  I just hope that the guilt soon disappears.

1 comment:

  1. Just sending you a hug.

    It's the seven stages of grieving, all shook up.

    Love from here.