Sunday, February 20, 2011

A philosophical note

When we made the decision to move to New Zealand we made the decision to not only make a change in location but in the way we live our lives.  That meant lowering stress and living a more relaxed life.  However, it is harder than I thought it would be.  That made me ask, do we and people in general, seek out stress in our lives?  Do we need it?  Most people claim to want a stress-free lifestyle but is it possible?  Would we allow ourselves that induldence?  Could we live that way?
When we first arrived we had residual stress from our old lives in Sydney - trying to get our bond money back from nightmare landlords, trying to get our belongings from an incompetent  shipping company and settling in to new surroundings.  With time slipping away and those original issues resolved, would stress be a thing of the past?  Not likely!  I am sure that elements of everyday life bring with it stress, it is unavoidable.  The kids, running late, meetings, getting dinner on the table ect, ect but why do I choose to increase it more than necessary?  With those initial stress factors gone, I looked for something else that bought more stress.  We decided that we loved it here so much that we would look to buy.  That in itself is stressful, but we took it a step further and decided we would buy land and build.

Now this may not sound so bad, but our plot of land was at the top of a volcanic hill with a wonderfully, sloping angle thrown in for good balance.  All the builders that took a look, drew in their breath and you could see the dollar signs adding up behind their eyes.  The stress of wanting to make this work while not spending a fortune was building.  The thought of rock blasting and excavation, coupled with an undefined cost before we even started to build sent me into a panic.  Most sane people would call it off instantly but it took me slightly longer, maybe I'm a slower learner. I got there in the end and realised that if it was stressing me now in the planning stages, the build would have put me into overload.

Maybe due to impatience or needing to include a level of stress in my life, I haven't put the house situation out of my head.  I did learn that building in our desired location was difficult and expensive so we have decided to buy a house ready made by people who have gone through the stress for us. 

So while waiting until later in the year would make sense, I am doing it the other way and starting now.  Why I'm not so sure, maybe the fear that I'll miss out on that perfect house if I wait.  But whatever happens I am determined to take it easy and not stress.  I want to exude that calm, peaceful, relaxed persona that I see in others.  I don't want to be late in the mornings and rush kids to school or wedge in homework while cooking, cleaning and folding washing in the evening.  I am sure it can be done, I have hope that one day I will look like that woman in Home magazine with a pristine house and kids, dinner made, ironing done and bread made for the morning. 

But deep down, I know this will never happen. I'd miss the stress and who am I kidding, the woman in the magazine has a team of stylists, cooks and slaves to make her look like that - I'm not even sure the kids are real!  So for now, my hope is to look at life a little differently and try to reduce the rush and stress wherever possible.  I have realised that like most things in our lives - it comes from me, I make it happen so I can make it go away.  Taking one day at a time, lets see what happens....

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